Every day I face rejection. Rejection as a human being for
being depressed, rejection as a human being for being grossly overweight, and
rejection from my own family. I face another type of rejection and that has to
do with my writing.
It’s difficult, to say the least, to get published. I’ve
managed that but it’s twice as difficult to be published a second time. The
rejection emails I receive have typically not bothered me but lately, in the
last two weeks, I’ve received two that have really hit me hard. Tonight I cried
for the first time over a rejection letter.
I’ve made no secret that I want to be a full-time writer and
I’ve been querying and querying agencies periodically over the last two years
in regards to my Deceptions trilogy.
In fact last Thursday, I sent out twenty-three emails. From one of those I
received a reply back from an agent who wanted to see more of my writing. I was
ecstatic, to say the least. I quickly forwarded her what she wanted and started
praying. Today, I received a rejection from her. It really hit me hard.
For Deceptions, I’ve
sent out 89 query letters with only one bite. I know I’m biased but the story
is a good one. There's a little mystery and some romance. I just need someone to give me a chance. You have no idea how
badly I want this trilogy to be published and as of Saturday, I hoped I was on
my way but today that hope was dashed.
I don’t have much going for me but I have my writing and I
think I do a pretty good job with my stories. I’ve taken a workshop to hone my
query letter because I’m serious about this writing business and yet I still
receive rejections. Like I said before, the rejections never used to bother me
but now they are. They weigh on me heavily and don’t help my depression at all.
The rejection makes me wonder if I’m any good as a writer as I still have never
been told by my first publisher what I did well in my book and why they wanted
to publish me.
It’s really starting to hurt my soul. I want this so badly.
For once in my life, I wish something would go right for me. I need this to
happen.
Dana
Just passing through via the 'next blog' button. I am sorry to read of your struggles. As someone who has also dealt with years of literary rejection, I am quite familiar with the self-appraising pain you are currently going through. What you can never do is weigh your worth on whether your work is accepted or rejected. Your worth is in your words, your stories, the time you've spent putting your point of view onto page. You have already done what so many aspire to do. A monetary reward would be nothing more than icing on the cake. You are a writer. Rejoice in that truth.
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