Wednesday, March 25, 2015

14 Stories (part 1)



Last summer I gave a gift of 14 short stories inspired by Baptized to Chris at his concert in my hometown. They were a thank you to him for helping me, although unknowingly, through some tough times. I actually forgot about the stories (thank you ECT) until I ran across them tonight and thought I'd share. Enjoy! (And sorry the formatting is jacked up. Sometimes cutting and pasting out of Word does not work well.)

 

“In the Time After”


Characters:        Jack Petrov from Deceptions, Aftermath, and Closure.
Time Frame:        This story takes place two months before Deceptions begins.
Song Inspiration: “Baptized”

     Jack swiveled aimlessly in front of the sound board in the studio. His thoughts were not on the final cut of the music video; they were on himself. He wasn’t narcissistic. Rather, there were two decisions he needed to make and since that weekend in June with Penny, all he could think of were the verdicts.
     The two predicaments weren’t miniscule either. They effected everyone in his circle, both personal and professional. He knew he should invite those involved into his decision making process but he stopped himself from doing so. Jack believed that the decisions were so monumental that only he should be involved in coming to the conclusions.
     It was coming at a price, however. He had distanced himself from Penny, the nanny to his children and his best friend, and to his bandmates. The only person, besides his children, that he was communicating with somewhat regularly was his wife, Crystal, but that was so forced. It was necessary, however, for him to come to one of the decisions.
     That decision was whether or not to ask Crystal for a divorce. It was not a decision to take lightly. Their relationship was a long one – twenty-three years total although only married for thirteen. They’d been through many ups and downs. Each birth of their seven children were the highest highs but the deaths of two of them were the lowest. Even though they officially married after they began having children, Jack took the institution of marriage seriously.
     But then June happened.
     It wasn’t June, though. Things were changing even before that weekend with Penny. Since their youngest was born, four-year-old Little Sofie, Crystal had been spending more time at the condo in Atlantic City than the cozy home in Voorhees. Then the 4th of July accident happened that killed Ellie and baby Fyodor and critically injured Jack and Penny. Crystal was of no help in their recovery and when he tried to talk to her about the deaths of two of their children, she refused.
     The accident pulled his focus from the limelight and to healing himself, Penny, and his family from the horrific car accident. Without Crystal around, Penny and Jack grew even closer. They were best friends before the accident, having met at the scholarship luncheon at Princeton the July before they matriculated seventeen years earlier. But after the accident and having to support each other while dealing with the children, the friendship cemented itself.
     But then June happened.
     Despite his strong belief in marriage, he and Penny made love. That’s exactly what it was – making love. She opened his eyes about his marriage and he realized that she was probably right; his marriage was more than likely over. Their actions afterwards felt so right but then he became confused. His marriage was over but he was stubborn. Was it? That’s why he started communicating more with Crystal. He had to know for sure. Before he asked for the divorce, he needed to make certain there was no saving his relationship with Crystal. Penny said it was over but he had to know himself.
     As he focused on his wife, he turned his eyes away from Penny. Gone were the comforting conversations as friends and his only communication with her was in regards to his children. She became just an employee. He had never treated her that way because they were friends for four years before she became his employee.
     Guilt from his treatment was high and he could feel the stress. He ran his hand through his dark brown hair and then rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm. What was his decision going to be? Divorce or stick with a dead marriage out of principle?
     “Papa,” Annie’s voice came over the intercom that connected the small studio/gym with the main house. “Dinner’s ready.” He walked over to the control panel.
     “I’ll be there in a few minutes, konfetka[1],” he replied in his native Russian.
     “Okey dokey,” his always happy-go-lucky daughter said. Jack couldn’t help but smile. She always brought him a smile or a bit of laughter despite being the only child left with physical limitations from the accident. Due to nerve damage, she used a wheelchair. The hope was that one day she could move on to crutches.
     Jack sighed and again, ran his hand through his hair. He looked around the studio, the epicenter of his second decision. Because of his time away from the business caused by the accident, Jack focused on his family one-on-one for the first time after many years of playing rockstar. He found out that he had missed so much of his children’s childhoods. Jack enjoyed taking his kids to school and helping with homework and just being there for them. For the first time since he began his career, he thought nothing of it.
     And so his second decision he had to make was whether or not he wanted to continue with the Ivy Brothers. He enjoyed being just a dad during the time after the accident and although the last few months found him and the guys writing and recording the first album after the accident, Jack found no joy or excitement in the process. He could not muster much enthusiasm for having to get back into the rock and roll lifestyle.
     Shaking his head, he shoved both predicaments to the back of his mind and left the studio. It was a warm September day and the first time he’d been home in three weeks. He was so glad to get home the night before but his happiness would be short lived. In two days, he would leave again for New York.
     “Papa!” cried Little Sofie, or as Jack called her, Sofochka.
     “You are pretty excited to see me, Sofochka” he said and picked her up.
     “I just missed you,” she said with a pouty face.
     “I missed you, too, but I promise to not go back to the studio until the sleeping fairies take you away. I am all yours tonight until they come for you.”
     “Yay!” she squealed and he plopped her down at her spot at the table. Jack surveyed the rest of his brood. There was Sasha, his oldest son, and Annie in her wheelchair. Leo was in the process of picking on Karie. He’d been a bit of a brat that day and Jack waved at him.
     “Leave your sister alone,” he said in American Sign Language. Leo was deaf and everyone in the family except Little Sofie knew how to sign. She was learning, though. Karie was usually picked on by his oldest daughter Natalya. But, Natalya was not at the table. Jack frowned.
     “Where is Natalya?” he asked in Penny’s direction as she pulled a chicken from the oven.
     “The last I knew, she was with Taylor.”
     “Why is she not here? You should have called her,” Jack said, his voice a bit stern.
     “I have done that, Jack,” Penny retorted. “She won’t pick up for me.”  
     Syn suka[2],” he muttered and stepped into the family room while dialing his troubled daughter’s number. As with Penny, she did not pick up. “Natalya, where are you? Dinner is on the table. You know you are to be home for Shabbos. Wherever you are, you are to turn around and come straight home.” He disconnected the call and huffed out in anger. Natalya’s behavior was becoming worse and he was close to the end of his rope with her. Being away from her didn’t help.
     Brat[3], I’m going to light the candles,” Millie said. She was Jack’s baby sister at age twenty. She had been through her own troubles as a teen but had turned everything around. Jack only hoped that Natalya could do the same.
     Millie lit the Shabbat candles and they said the various prayers over grape juice and challah. Jack took his spot at the head of the table while Penny sat at the other end. As he did during all Shabbats that fell during the school year, he began the dinner conversation by asking the children about their day. Sasha always went first and now that his Sofochka was in preschool, she went last.
     As they ate and talked, Jack kept glancing over at Penny whose gaze was on her plate that held very little food. Guilt filled him again. She looked like hell. An anorexic, it looked like she was spiraling down again. It had been a couple years since her last episode, an episode so bad that he forced her to go to treatment. Her t-shirt hung on her thin frame and her face was drawn and tight. She shoved her food around her plate but rarely took a bite. Penny needed help again but he just couldn’t muster the energy to do that. All his energies were in making two monumental decisions. Should he divorce his wife and should he leave his band?
***
     Jack stood in the doorway of his bedroom and observed Penny as she cleaned up from dinner. He had put the younger kids to bed and reminded the others when their lights were to be off, and then he had a one-on-one discussion with Natalya who had come home in a foul mood. As usual, he didn’t think he made any headway with her. Now he didn’t know what to do with himself. Before June, he would be down in the kitchen helping Penny with dinner cleanup and then they might sit outside if the night was warm or in front of the fire if it was chilly. They talked about the kids and upcoming activities and made sure all bases were covered. He should be down there with her. He wanted to be with her; he missed interacting with her. Instead, he turned around and shut his bedroom door.
     He went and sat in one of the wingback chairs that overlooked the front lawn. His thoughts were on Penny. Nothing he did could drag his mind from her and what happened at the cabin in June. Jack closed his eyes and brought up an image of her from that weekend. Her long, chestnut hair was loose and she lay in his arms in the morning sunlight. What they had done – made love – had felt so right. He yearned for that feeling again, the feeling of being loved as a person and not like a cash cow which is how Crystal thought of him.
     Penny loved him, admitted it that weekend. He looked into her dark brown eyes and knew he loved her too but the question kept coming up – what happens next? Jack, despite his Big Brain, did not know. His marriage was cold and dead and now he missed the warmth he had with Penny. He wanted that warmth, that feeling of being wanted and providing a soothing embrace to his best friend. If he chose divorce, it would only be to explore a relationship with Penny and that thought scared him. They were best friends, best friends who had crossed the lines of intimacy. But then he started acting like an ass with his private decision making. His behavior was hurting her and it was not fair.  
     The image floated in front of him again and he focused on it with closed eyes. The sunlight was warm and Penny’s hair so soft. Feeling her in his arms felt so natural. They were best friends and knew so much about each other and now, they were in love. He couldn’t deny it. The time after the accident solidified that love but he had been blind to it. It was Penny who opened his eyes and he was so thankful for that. He now saw how fractured his marriage was.
     But then there was Crystal, the mother of his children. His wife. Did he love her? He was certain the answer was no. But still there was the institution of marriage. He had wanted to emulate his own parents’ beautiful marriage but Crystal wasn’t his mother and Jack was different than his own father. They were both too different and had different circumstances to have a marriage like his parents. A loveless marriage? Was that what he was willing to do to his heart?
     He pulled his cell phone out and sent a text to Crystal.
     Can I come over? he asked.
     If you want, she answered. It wasn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy invitation he hoped for but things were so different between them. He had to know, however, if the marriage was dead. He needed to talk to Crystal so he could ascertain the life of their relationship.
     “I am going to Atlantic City,” he said to Penny as she filled the dishwasher. “I am not sure when I will be back.” Jack forced himself not to look at Penny. One look at her beautiful eyes would alter his intentions and he was on a mission. This was the last time he would go to Crystal. After this visit, he would make the decision.
     He was nervous on the drive to the shore and he paused before hitting the floor he needed to rise to to get to the condo. He mustered the strength and hit the number ten. When he exited the elevator he looked at the door in front of him. Should he knock? He felt like he should but was that how a husband visited his wife? With a deep breath, he turned the handle and the door opened. Crystal, dressed in silk pajamas, sat on one of the pricey couches with a glass of wine and a magazine. Despite being in pajamas, her hair, pale red but brittle and thin, was styled perfectly and her face was made up. Had she gone the extra steps for him?
     “Hi, Crystal,” he said and leaned in for a kiss. She presented her check and not her lips.
     “It’s Friday night. Shouldn’t you be at home?”
     “I wanted to come here to talk with you. We have not had a talk in a while.”
     “Do we even have anything to talk about?” she said and drained her glass of wine. Standing up, she ran her manicured nails through his hair. Her touch was cold. “I’m tired if you’re thinking of getting anything. I’m leaving for a weekend in New York in the morning so there’s really no reason for you to stay.” Jack watched as she walked towards the bedroom. Each step seemed to lessen what tiny bit of emotion he felt for her. He knew he had his answer.
***
     Jack took his time returning home. After he left the condo, he went down to the beach to think. He’d rather be at the cabin thinking but the beach and moonlight would have to do. Crystal could have cared less that he showed up and he knew Penny’s words were finally true. His marriage was dead. The first girl he fell in love with was no longer the center of his heart. There was no reason to continue the marriage. Crystal rarely spent time with the kids other than Natalya; Penny had done almost all the childrearing since the twins were born during Jack and Penny’s freshman year at Princeton.
     He brought up a picture of Penny on his cell phone. She hated having her picture taken but he had snapped the photo without her knowing a few days before they left for the cabin in June. She was sitting on the deck with Sofochka and the two were playing a simple game of jacks. The smile on Penny’s face reflected her quiet nature and simplicity. She never wore makeup, was more at home in shorts and a t-shirt, and loved his children as if they were her own.
     The sea breeze ruffled his hair, he really needed to get it trimmed, and his mind was taken back to his cabin in June. He and Penny had gone on a hike and spending those moments with her had woken something up inside of him that had been inactive for so long. He felt a warmth growing in his heart. Gone was the coldness from Crystal; it was Penny who now resided within him.
     So one of the two decisions had been made. What would his next step be? A divorce lawyer? The timing was bad; the new album would be out in a couple months and his schedule leading up to the release was filling up quickly. There really wasn’t time to devote to a divorce that Jack hoped would not be tabloid fodder. He wasn’t one of those celebrities. Time. He needed time to figure out his game plan. On one hand, he was worried about how the two women would take the news which caused him to want to drag his feet. But on the other, it wasn’t fair to either women to keep them hanging although only one – Penny – was really hanging. She had asked the question several times at the cabin – what happens next?
     Jack’s decision was to wait until the right time presented itself. Looking at the calendar on his phone, he saw that the week of Thanksgiving was free. Perhaps that would be a good time to set the ball rolling on matters of the heart.





“Hope”


Characters:        Katie Blumen from May Flowers.
Time Frame:        This story takes place leading up to May Flowers.
Song Inspiration: “Waiting for Superman”

Henry stood tall at the bottom of the stairs waiting for his Katie to come downstairs. She would need soothing. Katie had done something wrong in the eyes of the Nasty Woman and was being punished. Henry was sad for his Katie. She was such a sweet girl and tried her hardest but it was never enough for the Nasty Woman. Tonight’s discretion was breaking three dishes by accident.
The yelling went on for several minutes and then Henry had heard the water running in the bathroom. Sometimes the baths hurt Katie and she would come down crying. Henry wondered if this was one of those baths. He looked up and listened for voices. The water had stopped running but he could hear the Nasty Woman’s voice.
“You are the stupidest girl I’ve ever known!” Henry felt his heart hurt for his Katie. She couldn’t help that school was hard for her. She was actually supposed to get extra help but the Nasty Woman refused the extra services. If his Katie was given enough time, she would work hard at her studies but sometimes there just wasn’t enough time and then she would become confused.
Henry heard angry footsteps above and then soft steps. Those were his Katie’s steps and they walked through the kitchen and to the basement door. It opened and there she was, wrapped in a towel. He could hear her sniffling; it had been one of those baths. Her movement was very slow on the steep steps. As she came closer, Henry moved out of her way and hopped onto her bed. His Katie’s sniffling turned into a full-fledged crying episode as she sat on the edge of her bed and held onto the towel. Henry gave her a little space; he knew that when she had one of these baths, her skin often hurt. He knew his fur was soft but he just didn’t want to hurt her.
When her crying quieted down, she stood and took the t-shirt she wore to bed from its place folded under her pillow. His Katie took off the towel and when she slipped on the shirt, she started crying again.
“It hurts, Henry,” she said and sat back down. She was shaking and Henry could not stop himself. She needed his care. He padded across the bed and sat next to her. He began purring and put his paw on her thigh.
I’m sorry it hurts, my Katie, he meowed and she stroked his back. Her touch was always gentle but too often she felt a hurtful touch for no real reason at all. She needed kind big people to take care of her, to take her away from this house and the pain.
His Katie carefully laid down on her bed and sniffled and hiccupped while she petted him. He purred a continuous purr until his Katie’s eyes began to droop and he lowered his soothing sound as she fell asleep.
One day, he meowed quietly, one day you will be loved and cared for.   
 



“Fork in the Road”


Characters:        Ty and Anne
Time Frame:        Takes place before “The Pugilist”
Song Inspiration: “Battleships”

     Ty stared at the closed bedroom door. Once again, he and Anne ended the day having one of their infamous almost-yelling fights. They were becoming more numerous the more he trained for his comeback bout. She just didn’t understand and all he was trying to do was explain but the problem was, they were both stubborn as goats.
     He pulled out a pillow and blanket from the closet and bunked down on the couch. It seemed like he was spending more nights on the couch than in the bed he shared with Anne. Ty missed waking up next to her in the morning and he knew the only way that was going to happen was that either he give up his comeback or Anne finally understood why he had to step back into the ring. Ty sighed. He knew Anne would never understand.
     “Shit,” he muttered and fetched a beer from the kitchen and sat on the couch. Looking at his cell phone, he noticed the time and realized he was late in calling his younger sister Sarah. Every day he called her even if he saw her earlier in the day. A few months earlier, she had been diagnosed with cancer and was not doing well as the chemo’s side effects began their torture. Hoping she wasn’t asleep yet, he dialed her up.
     “Hey, Ty,” she answered. Her voice was a bit weak and this bothered him.
     “Hey, Sissy,” he replied. “How are you doing?”
     “As well as can be expected, I guess. I haven’t been able to eat much today. Everything just tastes off,” she explained.
     “I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”
     “There is. One thing that just sounds really good is a chocolate malt. Could you bring me one tomorrow?”
     “Absolutely, Sissy. I promise. I’ll swing by the ice cream parlor on my lunch. How does that sound?”
     “Perfect and thank you, Ty,” she said and he then heard her yawn. The chemo was kicking her ass.
     “Anything for you. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.
     “Love you, Tyler.”
     “Love you, Sarah.”
     He hung up, finished up his beer, and then lay down. Hopefully the next day would be a good day for both Sarah and his relationship with Anne.
***
     Ty let Anne shower first in the morning. Although their apartment was quaint with hardwoods and built-ins, continuous hot water was not always something they could count on. Letting her hit the shower before him was his way of trying to apologize. Ty ended up taking a cold shower so he knew Anne was still sore with him. She left the apartment for work without a word to him. This bothered Ty. It was the first time that had happened.
     His morning was busy at the appliance store as he and Roy delivered several appliances. As promised, he swung by the ice cream parlor and picked up a chocolate malt for Sarah and a strawberry one for himself. He almost made the mistake of picking up a coney dog for his lunch but then remembered that strong smells bothered his sister.
     He hadn’t seen her in a few days and no one warned him that she had shaved her head. Ty knew her hair was beginning to fall out but it was startling to see Sarah without her light brown hair. He hoped he hid his shock.
     “One chocolate malt for the best sister in the world,” he said and handed the tall cup to her. She was sitting up in bed but between her bald head and pale face, she looked terrible.
     “I’m your only sister. Of course I’m your best sister, you goober,” she said with a laugh and hearing her laugh eased some of Ty’s worries.
     “So, how does that taste to you?” She took a sip through the straw and then smiled.
     “Now this tastes good,” she said.
     “Excellent. I will be your daily malt delivery man,” Ty said. “At least we have one food item you can eat.”
     The rest of the afternoon was busy but Ty was trying to think of some way to get Anne to talk to him. His only idea was with food. Not a fancy dinner out but just a basic steak dinner. Anne loved his grilled steak and baked potatoes. He ran through the grocery store on his way home, picked up what he needed, and returned to the apartment. Anne, a nurse, wasn’t home yet and that played into Ty’s hands. He could have the dinner all ready by the time she walked through the doorway.
     It was a hot day and he broke out in a sweat as he fixed up the grill. He started on a beer after scrubbing a couple potatoes and getting them going on the grill. Anne was a slight health nut so he opened a bag of fancy lettuce for salads. And despite being a health nut, Ty knew she wouldn’t turn down the cheesecake he bought also.
     “What do you want?” Anne said after she finished off her small slice of cheesecake. It had been a tense dinner and Ty wasn’t sure if he had succeeded in wooing Anne.
     “Just to talk,” he replied. “I want to talk without falling into a verbal fight.” Anne rolled her eyes. That was not a good sign. “I just want you to understand why I want to fight again.”
     “Ty, our fighting is more than just you getting in the ring again. Haven’t you felt how different our relationship is lately?”
     Anne’s words hit him hard, harder than any of his sparring partners as of late.
     “I thought we were just fighting about boxing,” he admitted and felt stupid.
     “That’s because that’s all you think about. You’ve focused on that and only that so when we start fighting, you don’t think it’s about anything else.”
     “Give me an example because I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ty requested.
     “On Sunday, what started the fight?”
     “Sunday…” Ty thought back to that day. It was warm out and they were on their small deck. Ty was sitting and watching Anne plant a few flowers in containers. He frowned. “You were pissed because I wasn’t helping you.”
     “Exactly.”
     “But you didn’t ask.”
     “Do I need to?” Anne let out a deep ugh and took another beer from the fridge. “We’ve been together for almost seven years, Ty. Do you think I really should have to ask for help?”
     “Okay, I’ll give you that one and I’m sorry,” he apologized sincerely. “But our relationship, I don’t see anything.”
     “Ty, we can’t have a talk without arguing…”
     “We’re not arguing right now,” Ty countered.
     “We’re not done. Give it time,” Anne said with a slight sneer. Ty felt a little anger boil up.
     “It doesn’t help that you’re such a negative Nancy,” he said. “You just assume we’re going to have a fight.”
     “Because we always do! We fight over stupid shit like you helping me plant flowers and we fight over stuff that really matters like you getting back into that damn ring! Don’t you care about your future?”
     “And here we go, fighting about my boxing.”
     “Because it affects us both, Ty. It’s stupid for you to go back in the ring!”
     “My boxing is stupid?”
     “Not your boxing but your decision…”
     “Most significant others support…”
     “I would support you if it wasn’t for the fact that you could die if you box again!” Anne yelled.
     “I’ve received medical clearance, Anne.”
     “I don’t care! I think it’s stupid for you to go back in. Why don’t you think of us? Why don’t you think of your mom or Sarah? Why is it so important for you? I don’t get it!”
     “It’s just a part of me, Anne. It’s where I belong.”
     “Because of your father?”
     “Partly,” Ty said and grabbed another beer for himself. Neither of them probably needed to imbibe any more but it seemed to be par for the course when they tried to ‘talk.’
     “And what’s the other part,” she said and crossed her arms in front of her.
     “I just want to try one more time,” he replied quietly.
     “It really bothers you that you’ve never won a bout,” Anne noted in a softer tone. Ty looked at her. She had also softened her face, her beautiful face.
     “Yes. I just want one more try.”
     “But one more try might be too much, Ty. Think of those around you,” she pled.
     “Your support would mean everything to me, Anne.”
     “No, I will not support this. I’m through dealing with you and your damn boxing dream. You’ve been at it for so long and you’ve never won. You almost died after your last match. Can’t you get it through your thick skull? Give it up, Tyler. You’re never, ever going to win!”
     Anne might as well have slapped him.
     “You don’t think I can win?”
     “I’m just looking at your track record. Ty, you have a passion for boxing, I give you that but you’re just not that good.”
     Ty didn’t know what to say.
     “Don’t you love me?” he finally asked.
     “Of course I love you but I’m afraid of what will happen if you continue. I just can’t risk my heart on you having another brain bleed.”
     “But the doctor…”
     “I don’t care what the doctor says, Ty. I just know I can’t support you in this and I’m tired of seeing you come home from training bruised and swollen,” she explained. “I just can’t, Ty.” Anne suddenly broke down in tears. Ty went to her and pulled her into a hug. “I love you so much, Ty, and I’m so afraid you’ll die if you try again.”
     “Anne, I’m sorry that my boxing makes you cry.”
     “Please stop for me, Ty. Please?”
     Ty looked into Anne’s eyes. He didn’t know what to do.




“Past to Present”


Characters:        Katie, Ben, Laurie, and Jamie from Sunset Park and May Flowers
Time Frame:        After May Flowers
Inspiration:       “I’ll Fight”

     Katie watched the raindrops hitting the school bus’s window. The weather matched her mood. It had not been a good March day in the seventh grade for Katie. Ruby Lupaveda, Katie’s bully, was kicked out of the Catholic school she was going to and was now back at Katie’s middle school. And as luck would have it, Ruby ended up in almost every one of her classes. Ruby wasted no time in starting her bullying and Katie spent most of her lunch crying in Miss Sanchez’s room. But it was Friday and Katie would have a couple days without Ruby but still, she was already starting to worry about Monday.
     As the bus approached her stop, Katie was happy to see her adoptive mom waiting for her. She was also a little surprised. Katie didn’t think her mom, who had some physical limitations that had been giving her trouble lately, would venture out in the rain just to meet her. It gave Katie a warm feeling. It also reminded her how lucky she was that Ben and Laurie had adopted her.
     “Hi, honey,” Katie’s mom said with a smile as Katie joined her under an umbrella.
     “Hi, Momma.”
     “How was school today?” Katie frowned as she thought about her day. The tears came automatically.
     “Ruby is back,” she hiccupped and took the handle of the umbrella so her mom could give her a hug.
     “I’m sorry, Katie,” she said.
     They walked back to Sunset Park Café where Laurie worked part-time as a chef and the Polniacek family lived above. Katie was happy that there was no one in the dining room because she was in a full-fledged crying fit. Laurie led her into the kitchen and sat her down on one of the stools around the stainless steel work table.
     “What happened?” Mrs. Bailey – Jamie - Laurie’s best friend and cousin, demanded. She had red, wild curls that often stood on end when she was excited or angry.
     “Ruby Lupaveda must have gotten kicked out of Catholic school. She’s back at Katie’s middle school,” explained Laurie and wiped Katie’s face with a towel.
     “That little witch,” Jamie growled and threw her towel down. “I’m not surprised she got kicked out. I am surprised it took this long, however.” Katie had gone to school with Ruby through the sixth grade but her parents put her in Catholic school for seventh grade. Katie’s crying quieted down. She felt her cheeks redden with embarrassment.
     “I’m sorry for crying over this,” she said and Laurie gave her a strong one-armed hug. Her other arm was tucked against her stomach and had very little mobility.
     “Don’t be sorry. We thought you were done with that nasty girl,” Laurie said and rubbed Katie’s back. “We’ll think of something this weekend. I’m sure Ben and I can come up with something.”
     “Thank you,” Katie hiccupped.
***
     Laurie decided to make spaghetti for dinner. It was Katie’s favorite meal and she needed some cheering up. Laurie hated seeing her daughter in such a down mood. The door to the apartment opened and Ben walked in. It was always good to see him.
     “I’m glad you’re home,” she said when he gave her a kiss and a hug.
     “You’re always glad to see me but I’m sensing you’re gladder today.”
     “It’s Katie; she upset. Ruby Lupaveda got kicked out of her school and is now in almost all of Katie’s classes,” explained Laurie.
     “Ugh,” Ben sighed. “Poor kid.”
     “Who? Katie or Ruby?”
     “Katie, of course,” Ben replied and started to unbutton his Herman’s Hardware shirt. “I don’t like to see our daughter upset at all.”
     “Neither do I. That’s why I’m making her favorite meal and we’ll have chocolate malts a little later.”
     “Sounds good.”
     Ben left to change out of his work clothes and Laurie dropped the pasta in the boiling water. Dinner was unusually quiet. Katie typically chatted about her day and the time was enjoyable but she was quiet and just picking at her dinner. It hurt Laurie’s heart to see her this way.
***
     “Amen,” both Katie and Ben said as they crossed themselves. Katie climbed into bed while Ben pulled up her blanket. He sat on the edge of the bed.
     “I’m sorry that Ruby’s back,” he said. Ben had not spoken to his daughter about the day as he and Laurie tried to keep the night lighthearted. After dinner they found a family friendly movie on TV and then Laurie made chocolate malts for a treat.
     “I cried in front of Miss Sanchez,” Katie said. Her voice was a little shaky. Ben put his arm around her shoulders.
     “That was smart to go to Miss Sanchez. She knows your history with Ruby and I’m sure she didn’t mind you crying.”
     “I feel so stupid.”
     “No, no, no, Katie Kat. There’s nothing about this situation you should feel stupid about. Ruby is a nasty little girl and she makes herself feel better by being mean to you,” explained Ben.
     “Do you think so?”
     “Yes, that’s the way bullies work.”
     “I hate bullies,” Katie said.
     “And I hate bullies who target my daughter.”
***
     Katie didn’t sleep well so she was tired Saturday morning as she helped out in the café’s kitchen. Her job was to do any stirring for Laurie if she needed it. Even though she had good control over her left arm – it was her right side that was weak – it was just too hard for her to stir some of the stiffer batters. Katie was currently stirring chocolate chip dough for bars. These were actually for them to take upstairs.
     “You look tired,” Jamie said and Katie nodded and then yawned.
     “I couldn’t sleep good last night,” she said. “I’m worried about school on Monday.”
     “That’s too bad that Ruby had to come back,” Jamie said and gave Katie a hug.
     “I think that batter is done,” Laurie noted after coming out of the walk-in refrigerator. “Do you think you can spread it into the pan?”
     “Yes, ma’am,” Katie replied and busied herself with the task. Jamie and Laurie continued to talk about Ruby.
     “Ruby was kicked out for continued back talking to her teachers,” Jamie said. “You can’t get away with that in Catholic school.”
     “Public school is a little bit more lenient which bothers me,” said Laurie as she sat on a stool watching Katie.
     “It’s not like when we went, that’s for sure.” Jamie left the kitchen with an order and Katie finished spreading the batter. She wasn’t allowed near the oven so Laurie was able to do that although it was a struggle for her.
     “What am I going to do on Monday, Momma?” Katie asked. It was a question that kept her up when she should have been sleeping.
     “Well, Ben and I talked last night and we thought we could go in to the school on Monday and talk to the new principal about having Ruby’s schedule changed. You shouldn’t have to change your schedule since you were there first.”
     “Do you think Mr. Fitz will allow that? He seems kind of strict.”
     “I don’t know why he wouldn’t allow it,” Laurie said. Unfortunately, Mr. Fitz was one of those principals who believed that students should learn to get along with each other and that bullying just didn’t happen in his school.
     “What am I going to do?” Katie asked her momma again as they stood outside of the office. She felt like she was about to cry.
     “Try to avoid Ruby when you can and if she’s bullying you, tell the nearest teacher,” Laurie said.
     “And you have Miss Sanchez, too,” Ben added. “And keep yourself positive. Maybe Ruby won’t do anything.” Katie wished what her adoptive dad said turned out to be true but Ruby was her usual self. In Science class, she squirted Katie with pond water and in PE, she tripped Katie twice. Katie was too embarrassed in both incidences to tell the teacher. It was a very bad Monday.
     When her parents asked her how the day was, she lied. She felt terrible for doing so but Laurie was not having a good day with her limitations and Katie didn’t want to burden her or Ben who was worried about his wife.
     “I’m glad today was good,” both of her parents said when they tucked her in. As soon as her light was off and her door partially shut, Katie began crying.
     The bullying came to a head at the end of the week. Katie was on edge all week and was a nervous wreck. This caused her to slip up on Friday and after school, she was followed into the girl’s bathroom by Ruby and her gang.
     “Looky looky, look who we have here,” Ruby snarled before Katie could get into one of the stalls. “You think you’re so special because you have a mommy and a daddy now.”
     “Please just leave me alone, Ruby,” Katie begged and backed up. Ruby approached her and pushed her hard into the wall. With her backpack full, this hurt Katie’s back. It also scared her.
     “Please just leave me alone,” mocked Ruby and shoved Katie again. And then it happened – Katie was so scared she wet herself. Ruby and her gang hopped back in disgust. “You pissed your pants! You’re nothing but a baby!” Katie started to cry and Ruby started laughing. “We’re going to have so much fun with this.” Ruby turned to leave but then swiveled back around. “And don’t you dare tell mommy or daddy or any teachers about this or I’ll tell everyone what happened to you when you were sent away.”
     Katie sucked in her breath at this. Before being adopted by Laurie and Ben, Katie had been rehomed with an awful woman who ended up selling Laurie to a bad man who did awful things to Katie. No one knew at school what happened and Katie didn’t want that getting out.
     Ruby and the other girls left, leaving Katie crying and scared. She was wearing a pair of gray yoga pants and it was very obvious what had happened. Plus, because of the bullying, she was certain she missed her bus and on Fridays, there wasn’t a late bus. She would either need to call Laurie and have Jamie come get her – Laurie was unable to drive – or she would have to walk. She couldn’t walk home looking the way she did, too many people would see her.
     Katie got her crying under control and pulled out her cell phone that she received for Christmas. She dialed Laurie’s phone.
     “Hi, honey,” her momma answered and Katie started crying again. “Katie, what’s wrong?”
     “I missed the bus,” she hiccupped.
     “That’s no reason to be upset. Jamie will be more than happy to come get you,” Laurie said in her gentle voice. “She’ll be there in a few minutes, honey. Okay?”
     “Okay,” Katie cried. She didn’t want to stand out in front of the building, especially if Ruby was out there. She needed to find a window so she could see when Jamie arrived so she could run to Jamie’s van. Around the corner from the bathroom was a window and the halls were empty. Kids didn’t tend to stick around much on Friday afternoons.
     Tears were still falling down Katie’s face when Jamie showed up. When Katie ran, her back hurt but she didn’t care. All she focused on was the van and getting there without anyone seeing her. There were only a few students out front and if they said anything, Katie was too focused to care. By the time she got to the van, Jamie was outside of it with a worried look on her face.
     “Katie, what happened?” she asked. Katie just started crying harder. Despite being a mess, Jamie gave her a bear hug. They were back at the café quickly. Through her tears, Katie lied.
     “It was my fault,” she explained. “I drank too much and waited too late to go to the bathroom.”
     “It’s okay, Katie,” Laurie said. “Why don’t you run upstairs and take a shower.” Katie nodded and ran up the stairs. She didn’t know what she was more ashamed of – wetting herself or lying to her momma.
***
     Laurie was worried about her daughter. For two weeks after the wetting incident, Katie just wasn’t herself but whenever Laurie asked her what was wrong, she just said nothing.
     “Ben, I’m worried about Katie,” Laurie said one night after she and Ben went to bed.
     “I’ve noticed her spark is gone and I just have a feeling that it has something to do with Ruby. But I don’t know. She just won’t talk.”
     “I wonder if she said anything to Dr. Beth.” Dr. Beth was the therapist that Katie saw once a week to deal with past issues. When Ben and Laurie asked the therapist about the subject after the next session, she said that Katie hadn’t said anything. In fact, she hadn’t said much.
     Each week, Katie seemed to grow more morose and sad. Laurie and Ben talked to Dr. Beth, talked to some of her teachers, and tried to talk to Katie but to no avail. Finally, in the middle of May, Katie did something no one expected – she skipped school. It was the first time Katie did such a serious thing and the first time Ben and Laurie were faced with punishing the girl.
     “I don’t know how hard we should be,” Laurie said as she and Ben sat out on the stone patio. Katie had been banished to her room.
     “I think her skipping has something to do with her attitude of late,” Ben suggested. “I know we need to punish her for skipping but if it’s because of Ruby or something at school, I just don’t know if she deserves a punishment.”
     “You know I’ve tried to talk to her, Ben. She just won’t let me in,” Laurie said, her voice weepy. “I’m her momma now and she should trust me to tell me what’s going on. Why won’t she talk to me, Ben?” Laurie cried into Ben’s shoulder as he hugged her.
     “Don’t take it personally, Laurie. Maybe this is just normal behavior for a seventh grader,” he offered.
     “I don’t think so. The turn was just so quick.”
     “Why don’t you let me try and talk with her?”
     “You can try, Ben, but she’s a pre-teen girl who won’t even talk to her momma. I don’t think she’ll talk to her daddy.”
     “I can’t just sit around and do nothing. Let me just try, okay?” Laurie nodded and he gave her a kiss.
***
     Ben knocked on Katie’s door. “Katie, may I come in?”
     “Yes, sir,” Katie replied. It sounded like she had been crying and when he opened the door, he saw her eyes were red and swollen. “I’m so sorry I skipped, Daddy. I know it was wrong.”
     “I’m glad that you know it was wrong and can admit that,” he said and sat next to her on the window seat that overlooked the street below. Henry, Katie’s cat, was curled up in between them. “We need to have a serious conversation, Katie. I would like to know why you skipped.” This seemed to make Katie uncomfortable and a new round of tears fell.
     “Please don’t make me tell, sir,” she hiccupped.
     “Katie, honey. Skipping school is a serious offense in my book. Now, this is the first time you’ve done anything that requires a punishment.” Katie’s head snapped up and there was fear in her eyes and Ben felt bad. Katie’s history of punishments were severe from those who looked after her before she was adopted. “I’m sorry. Our punishment will not be physical,” he said, softening his voice. “Katie Kat, you know Laurie and I love you with all our hearts and we’ve been so worried about you these last few weeks and just want to know what’s going on. Does this have anything to do with Ruby or when you had the accident at school?”
     Katie’s crying intensified. Ben was certain Ruby and the incident was behind his daughter’s changes in behavior.
     “Katie, please tell me what happened? I love you and I don’t like to see you cry. I want to help you. Please, tell me,” Ben requested gently. After crying for a few more minutes, Katie settled into a few whimpers.
     “I’m not supposed to tell,” she said to her hands in her lap. “Ruby told me I couldn’t tell.”
     “What did Ruby not want anyone to know?”
     “That she was bullying me again.”
     “But wouldn’t teachers see her bullying?” Ben questioned with concern.
     “She’s learned how to bully without anyone noticing. She made me sit at her lunch table and… and…,” Katie begin crying.
     “What did she do?”
     “She would tell me that you and momma don’t really love me. She said I deserved what that man did. She made me repeat what she said.” Ben felt a strong anger within him. A horrible girl was torturing his daughter. “She said if I told you or Momma she would tell the whole school what that man did to me.” Katie’s crying worsened and Ben gently placed Henry on the floor so he could pull Katie into his arms.
     “I’m sorry Ruby did all that, Katie,” he said, finding it hard to control the anger he felt.
     “I skipped because I just couldn’t take it anymore and I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid.”
     Ben let go of Katie and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. He then held her face in his hands. “I want you to know that you should never be afraid of telling me or Laurie anything. If you find yourself ever scared, don’t be afraid to come to us. Ruby’s words were so wrong. Laurie and I love you so much and that’s why the way you’ve been behaving these last few weeks has us worried. We want to help. If someone’s hurting you, we want to know so we can protect you. You are our life now.”
     “I just didn’t know what to do,” Katie repeated. “I don’t want anyone to know what happened to me. I don’t even know how she knows.”
     “You leave that up for Momma and me to figure out,” Ben said. “I want you to promise me, Katie, that if something like this happens again or if you’re unsure of something, you must come to me or Momma. Promise me, Katie.”
     “I promise, Daddy,” said Katie.
     “No more skipping school.”
     “I promise.”
     “I’m not going to punish you for this considering the circumstances,” Ben said.
     “Are you sure?”
     “Yes, honey. But I want you to learn from this. Know that Momma and I will always do whatever we can to help you, to keep you safe. We’d lay down our lives for you. I know that may be hard to believe because of what has happened in your past but that’s in the past. Your present includes two people who love you very much. Understand?”
     “Yes, Daddy.”
     Ben gave Katie a bear hug. “I love you, Katie Kat.”
     “I love you, Daddy.”





“Autumn Visit”


Characters:        Frankie, Sam, and Alex from “Forgiveness Road”
Time Frame:        Several years before “Forgiveness Road” and about a year after.
Inspiration:       “Wild Heart”

     Alex, Sam’s best friend, just would not let up. “She’s got beautiful auburn hair and these hazel eyes that I swear change colors depending on what color shirt she wears,” he said as Sam lay under his truck, changing the oil. “Come on, Sam. We’ll double. Me and Julie and you and Frankie.”
     Sam wheeled himself out from beneath his truck and sat up. Alex was sitting on a stack of old tires. He wasn’t opposed to the double date; he was just a little nervous. Alex was the smooth one around girls. Sam sort of just stayed quiet.
     “I’ll even pay for everything,” Alex offered but Sam shook his head.
     “No, no. I’ll pay for me and Frankie.”
     “So you’ll do it?”
     “I suppose,” Sam said with a sigh. What could it hurt?
     “That’s great! Frankie works at the drive-in but she’s off Sunday. We’ll go to the Barn. Dinner and maybe some dancing,” suggested Alex. The Barn was the local steak place/dance hall and they played a mix of music.
     “I don’t dance.”
     “Well, you don’t need to dance if you don’t want to but the Barn’s got good food and I know Julie will want to dance. That’ll give you a chance to get to know Frankie.”
     Four days later, Sam was running a little late after having trouble with the tractor at the farm where he worked. He was set to meet Alex and the girls at the Barn at seven but he didn’t get out of the shower until ten to seven. It was twenty minute drive – pushing the speed limit – to get to the Barn. This was not a good way to start a blind date.
     He slipped on khakis and a polo, ran out of the house, and headed off towards the Barn. If he was lucky, Sheriff Frye would not be on duty and he could do a little speeding. He was not lucky, sadly.
     “Sam Daly,” the sheriff said as he walked up to the open window. “This is the second time I’ve caught you this month.”
     “I’m sorry, sir. I’m running behind,” Sam replied honestly, hoping Sheriff Frye would let him slide this time. He also knew Stephen and Helen – Alex’s parents who took care of Sam after his own parents died – would be pretty sore at him if he got another speeding ticket.
     “And just where do you think you’re going?”
     “Um, uh, a blind date, sir.”
     “A blind date, huh? Young love. I remember when I was your age.” Sheriff Frye hiked his pants up. “If you promise to drive the speed limit until you get to your girl, I’ll let you go this time.”
     “I promise, Sheriff Frye. I’ll drive the speed limit from here to the Barn. I promise,” Sam reiterated.
     “Get outta here, boy.” Sam didn’t have to be told twice so off he went, at the speed limit.
     The Barn was hopping that night and Sam had to make his own parking spot nearly in a ditch. He hopped out of his truck and ran across the parking lot. Before entering the establishment, he smoothed down his sandy blonde hair that was still damp from his shower.
     It was difficult to locate Alex and the girls in the crowd but after searching for about ten minutes, he found them in a corner booth.
     “I’m so sorry I’m late,” he apologized to the girl with the auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail. “I was late getting off work and then Sheriff Frye stopped me. Hi, I’m Sam,” he said and held his hand out to Frankie. She took it. Her hand was soft.
     “We thought you had chickened out,” Julie chided him.
     “You should know me better than that, Julie,” Sam replied. “I wouldn’t do that.”
     “See, Frankie. I told you he was a stand-up guy,” she said. “You two already make a cute couple.” Sam felt his cheeks blush and he looked at Frankie. She also had blushing cheeks.
     They ordered dinner and just chitchatted as they ate. Actually, Alex and Julie did most of the talking. They had pie for dessert and Alex ordered another round of beers for the table. They were all twenty-one but Sam wasn’t a huge drinker. He had one with his steak but he really didn’t want another and asked for a Coke instead. Frankie took a long drink from her bottle and started bopping her head along with the tune the in-house band was playing. He knew he had to start up a conversation.
     “You like music?” he asked.
     “Yes, all kinds,” she replied and gave him a big smile. He liked her smile. And she had dimples. “I love dancing. What about you?”
     “Music yes, dancing not so much,” he replied.
     “I hear the beat and I just start moving,” Frankie explained and started dancing in her seat and snapping her fingers. She laughed and at that moment, Sam was taken with her. He noticed her eyes, although hazel, were more greenish due to the green of her gauzy top that matched her flirty skirt. Her auburn curls moved with her and her hands were slender. Frankie had painted her nails a bright red. Again, she smiled and there were those dimples again.
     Seventeen years later, Sam missed those dimples. He missed her smile, her laugh, her spark. The cancer had been aggressive. In only six months, Frankie went from a vibrant woman to a gray shell. After the kids said their goodbyes, Sam sat by her bed, holding her hand, until the last breath was taken. That’s when his tears came and were non-stop for an hour. He kept holding Frankie’s hand and the worst thing he did in his entire life was when he had to let go.
     Sam exited his truck and made his way through the small cemetery. It was his sixth visit to her grave, one visit for every month she was gone. He kneeled down on one knee and laid the bouquet of flowers on her headstone. It was late October and colorful leaves spotted the ground.
     “It’s your favorite season, Frankie,” he noted, trying to keep his emotions in check. He had the kids to pick up from school in an hour. “The trees are beautiful and the pumpkin patch is plum full of big pumpkins. Molly has already decided on which one she wants to carve.” Sam chuckled but that didn’t stop the tears from starting. “We always took walks on days like today. The harvest is in and off to the co-op. It would be one of the first days we were together after the long days in the field. I missed having a walk with you today. I tried… I tried to take the walk by myself but I couldn’t.”
     The wind picked up a little and leaves scattered about Sam. Even though the air was chilly, the sun was warm. Sam let his tears fall for several minutes until he wiped them away. He reached out and touched the headstone. One day, he would join Frankie.

 

“And the Rest, as They Say, is History”


Characters:        Jack Petrov and his bandmates from Deceptions, Aftermath, and Closure   
Time Frame:        When Jack and his bandmates were in their early teens.
Song Inspiration: “Long Live Rock and Roll”

     Eto ne gromko[4],” Jack said. “But I will turn it down for you, Mama.”
     “You are a good boy, Ivan. I need to put Milena down for her nap,” Jack’s mother said. He peeked into the bundle his mother held. His baby sister, only a few months old, looked just like a Petrov should look – dark hair and brown eyes. Jack smiled as his sister cooed and then yawned.
     “I will take Danny and we will head to Matty’s,” Jack said and picked up his guitar case. “Is that alright, Mama?”
     “Yes, moye solntse[5],” his mother replied. “But be home in time for candle lighting.”
     “Yes, Mama,” Jack replied. He gave his mom a peck on the cheek.
     “Danny, let us go,” he called to his brother. Jack was fourteen while Danny was two years younger. They’d been in the States just over two years and he’d enjoyed every moment of it. What kept his attention the most was music. He liked all kinds of music but it was rock and roll that he listened to the most and it was the direction he wanted his band to go in. Jack hadn’t yet talked to the other guys yet but they all listened to the same – the Stones, AC/DC, Pink Floyd. Good old rock and roll was what he tapped his toe to and what he was learning on his guitar.
     “What’s the plan for today, brat[6],” Danny asked as they headed down the steps of the apartment building and into the humid, Atlanta afternoon.
     “I have an idea, Danny.”
     “What is it?”
     “About the band but also college. You know Mama and Papa are going to expect us to go to college and we have promised to do that but I have an idea to keep the band together and keep our promise,” explained Jack.
     “What’s the idea?”
     “Patience. I will tell everyone at the same time.”
     Matty’s house was a six block walk from the Petrov apartment and Danny kept pestering Jack about the idea but Jack kept his mouth shut. He wanted to present the idea to everyone at once.
     It took nearly an hour for the guys to all get to Matty’s house. They went down to the basement where they rehearsed. They’d only had a few rehearsals but Jack thought they were good. They already had “Brick in the Wall” down and Jack wanted to work on “Stairway to Heaven” next.
     “So, now that everyone’s here, Jack, what’s the idea?” Danny said.
     “Okay, my idea is simple. We still rehearse, try to get some gigs, go to high school, graduate, and then we all go to the same college. We get our diplomas to make our parents happy but we keep going with the band,” Jack explained.
     “So, college degrees would be our back up plan if the band fails?” Carlos, the bass player, asked.
     “I do not intend for us to fail but that would be a good idea,” replied Jack.
     “Do you have the schools all picked out for us to try and get into?” Gordie asked. Gordie was one of the guitar players and the only one who tried to act like an unruly rock and roller.
     “As a matter of fact, I do. I have two lists. One with schools around Los Angeles and the other with schools in or near New York City. I think we would have a better chance with focusing on New York.”
     “What schools, Jack?” Danny asked as he tossed a tennis ball up and down.
     “Columbia, New York University, Princeton, and Yale,” he said, reading off of a list he pulled from his jeans pocket. Gordie snorted.
     “Really? You expect all five of us to do well enough in high school to get into an Ivy League school while at the same time figuring out this band stuff?” Gordie’s tone was rather rude.
     “Well, yes,” Jack answered, matter-of-factly.
     “I don’t mean to be negative,” Matty said, “but I do have to agree with what Gordie’s implying. I’m not saying were stupid but we’re not as smart as you and Danny.”
     “You are all plenty smart. All you, we, have to do is focus and apply ourselves. Our studies come first and then the band. We can do this. I know we can,” Jack said. “But we all have to be in. So, who is in?” With glances and sighs, everyone but Gordie raised their hands. Gordie actually looked angry. He picked up one of Matty’s drumsticks and tapped it on the old footlocker they sat around. Finally, he raised the drumstick into the air.
     “Rock and roll forever,” he said. “Call us the Ivy Brothers.”
     “I like that,” Carlos said. “We haven’t come up with a name yet.”
     “The Ivy Brothers?” Jack repeated. “The Ivy Brothers.”
     “I think we have the band’s name,” Danny said with a wide grin.
     “Let us get to work now. We have a plan and a name,” Jack said with a firm nod of his head.  




“Quiet”


Characters:        Jack and Crystal Petrov from Deceptions, Aftermath, and Closure
Time Frame:        A couple years after Jack and his wife were married and way before Deceptions begin.
Song Inspiration: “The World We Knew”

     The house was quiet, an oddity for Jack to experience. His three children and younger sister were out with their nanny Penny and it was just him and Crystal in the cozy home. Jack didn’t know if he liked a quiet house. He sat at the kitchen table with a coffee and just listened. Nattie, his youngest, wasn’t whining for her mother. Ellie, his oldest daughter, wasn’t screaming out of frustration. And Sasha, his son, wasn’t bothering Jack to read with him. And then there was Millie, Jack’s ten-year-old baby sister who would be adding to the cacophony. He closed his eyes and thought back to just a couple hours earlier when all that was happening. Most parents may want to tear their hair out but not Jack. He loved the chaos. He missed it when he was out on the road but now that he was home for a little while, he wanted the chaos.
     Chaos. Home chaos he had the patience for, work chaos he didn’t. The nights away, the crowds, the lack of privacy. They were all necessary for his career but sometimes, not often but at the height of it all, Jack actually wished that maybe he and the guys had not had their dream come to fruition. Where would he be?
     The door to his bedroom opened and he saw Crystal. She was slow moving at almost nine months pregnant with their next child, another voice to add to the chaos he desired. She was due within the next week. He didn't care if it was a boy or a girl; as always, he just wanted a healthy baby.
     Jack pulled a chair out for her and she sat with a sigh. “We’re almost there,” he said and gave her a kiss. Despite being highly pregnant, her face was made up perfectly along with her light auburn but very thin hair styled just so. Jack wondered if their next child would have any of Crystal’s looks. So far, all three children definitely took after the Petrov side of the family.
     “I can’t wait,” she said and yawned. Crystal had trouble sleeping yet he had slept like a rock. Jack felt guilty about this.
     “Can I get you anything?”
     “No, I’m okay,” she replied with a smile. She then made a funny face and cocked her head slightly. “The house, it’s quiet.”
     “Yes, I sent Penny out to the movies with the kids and then to the Discovery Museum and then ice cream. We have, hopefully, the next few hours alone,” he explained and pulled her hand into his. She wasn’t wearing her wedding band as her hands were swollen.
     “Thank you,” she replied and tried to lean over to kiss him. She failed so he did the leaning.
     “Is there anything special you would like to do?” Jack asked her.
     “No, I don’t feel like doing anything except putting my feet up,” she answered and stood. Jack followed her into the family room and sat next to her as she slipped off her shoes and put them up on the tufted ottoman that sat in between the leather couch and the hearth. Jack put his hand on her swollen belly. When he felt the baby move, he smiled. “He or she hasn’t been very active today.”
     “Probably because space is at a premium right now,” he explained.
     “Definitely so,” Crystal replied and tried to get into a more comfortable position. Jack felt for her; she looked so miserable. “We still need to work on names,” she said and wiggled her fingers at the notebook that sat on the ottoman. Jack fetched it and he looked at the possibilities. All were Russian names. Crystal didn’t really care what they called their babies so Jack gave the options based on his Russian-Jewish heritage.
     “Well, for a girl, I really do like Karina,” he said.
     “What would her nickname be?” Crystal asked. All the kids had their formal name and then a nickname. Sasha was Alexsandr, Ellie was Elizaveta, and Nattie was Natalya.
     “Karie,” he replied and put his hand on Crystal’s belly again. “I think it is a girl.”
     “I agree with you. Everything has been the same as when I was pregnant with Nattie.”
     “But, let us still have a boy name picked out, just in case.” He looked down at the few names he had written. His top name was Mikhail with a nickname of Mikey but deep down, Jack didn’t feel that their fourth child would be a boy.
     “You know what?” Crystal said and put her feet down. “I think I could take a nap. Will you join me?”
     “Of course, moya sladkaya[7],” he replied and helped her up. Jack was far from tired but at this point of the pregnancy, he did anything Crystal asked.
     Her steps were slow on the front staircase and it took her several minutes to find a comfortable position on the bed. Once she had it, Jack slipped his shoes off and lay next to her. She smiled and it instantly caused him to smile also.
     “You are so beautiful,” he said and kissed her.
     “I’m a whale.”
     “No, you are not and I hate when you say that,” Jack lightly admonished her.
     “You are too kind, Jack,” she said.
     “It is not a matter of kindness. It is the truth.” Jack adjusted himself so Crystal’s head was resting against his chest.
     “So quiet,” Crystal noted.
     “I know. I was just thinking that earlier. It is odd to hear.”
     “But nice. And it’s nice that it’s just us two in the house. I’ve enjoyed having you home these last few weeks.”
     “It has been a nice break.” Jack thought for a moment. “Do you ever regret my career?”
     “Regret? Never.”
     “But I am gone so often and sometimes for so long. I feel guilty for leaving you alone.”
     “I’m not alone, Jack. I have Penny. If you want to sell albums, you have to be out there,” Crystal said.
     “I was thinking earlier what it would be like if the band had not taken off. What would it be like? What would I be doing to support my family? Would we still be friends with Penny?”
     “Why wouldn’t we be friends with Penny?”
     “Well, if I was not away so much, you would not need the help. Penny would be working someplace else. We may not be close anymore.”
     “That day will never happen, Jack. You two are best friends. I can’t imagine anything happening that would break up your friendship. Even if she lived on the other side of the globe, you two would still be Frick and Frack.” They both laughed with this.
     “You are correct, Crystal. I cannot imagine not having Penny as my friend.”
     “If you didn’t have the band, what would you be doing?” asked Jack’s wife.
     “I am not sure. I think I would have continued on in school to earn my master’s degree, maybe even my doctorate.”
     “What would you have done with that?”
     “Probably thought about teaching at a college or a university. I know that Mama and Papa would have been proud about that,” he said.
     “You don’t think they would be proud of what you’ve done with the band?”
     “No, they would have but they were both so insistent on us getting a higher education. I think they would have expected me to go as high as I could in college. They were very much reach for the stars people.”
     “I think you’re reaching for the stars now and succeeding. Don’t feel bad about your success being in the music business instead of the stodgy Ivy League.”
     “I do not feel bad that we are a success. I was just wondering what it would have been like if we were on a different path. What would it be like if we were… normal.”
     “Are we abnormal?” Crystal questioned in mock horror.
     “We are not abnormal but we are definitely not living a nine-to-five life. I sometimes wonder if the children would be better if I was home more.”
     “I’m sure they would love to have you home more but you are still quite the hands-on father even if it is at a distance. The kids are fine.”
     “I worry about Millie. She lost Mama and Papa so young and it is hard for me to be both a brother and a father.”
     “She’ll be fine. Don’t worry about her,” dismissed Crystal and snuggled up against Jack. “Now, I’m tired so be quiet so I can fall asleep.” Jack kissed the top of Crystal’s head and held her as she fell asleep. He was not tired at all and his mind – Penny called it his Big Brain – was whirring with thoughts. All of them were ‘what if’ thoughts. What if things were different? What if he wasn’t in the limelight? How different would his life be? What if it was just him and Crystal and the kids living a much simpler life?     







[1] sweetie
[2] Son of a bitch
[3]  Brother
[4] It is not loud
[5] my son
[6] brother
[7] my sweet

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