A Simple Desire

Since last weekend, my depression has been high. Probably the highest it’s been since before my ECT treatments. I think the biggest part reason is because I’m just disgusted with myself. I can’t seem to get anything together all of a sudden and it’s weighing so heavily on me. It’s the depression that makes things so hard; even simple things I can’t do. It’s so hard to adequately describe what this is like.

I just want to be normal and I felt relatively normal last weekend being around friends but even before the weekend was over, even before the great Daughtry concert, the depression was filling me up because I knew once I got home, that feeling of normalcy would be gone. It’s such a simple desire to be normal yet so difficult for me to achieve. I’m tired of the struggle. It’s even affecting my writing which really bothers me a lot because writing is usually something I can turn to and try and forget my misery.

Dana :(