To Z Infinity!

I’m sitting on my deck on a pleasant evening wondering if that’s a bird’s nest I see in the attic vent of the building next door. Then there’s the woman in the same building who I see choo-choo-ing around her living room. At first I wondered if she was having some sort of a fit but then I remember she has a young child and she’s probably just entertaining the tater tot. My mind is going everywhere except where I want it to go so I’m trying to focus through music but I’ve left my comfortable ear buds in the car. I’m using the original ones that came with my iPod touch and they’re driving me crazy. They won’t stay in; one side will slip and I feel off balance. I’m frustrated which is so appropriate as that is truly how I feel right now. I’ve struggled for most of the day with writer’s block; I’m all off-kilter after several days of progress on a short story that I didn’t think was going to make it. I need a solution.

I’m not going to give up; I’ve grown too attached to this story. It’s the first one I’ve had any success with in a damn long time and I think most of the frustration I feel is because I’ve written very little on it today. I consider writer’s block a wall and I’ve been told I’m very good at constructing walls around me. Why have I built this one? I have a theory – I’m scared. I’m at the climax of the story, or at least the beginning of the climax which means I’m almost done with it. When I finish this story, how long will I have to wait for the next one? Writer’s block and I go back quite a ways and I thought I’d kicked him to the curb. I don’t want to go such a long stretch between pieces. Is my writer’s block a self-conscious stall tactic to keep myself from future frustration? Maybe. Allowing myself to be victim to writer’s block isn’t helping at all. I just need to woman up and just get over my pity party and figure out the ending of the story. Wall breaking is hard as it requires change and I know this is a cliché to write but change is hard. I shouldn’t assume there won’t be another story; I should assume that if I allow the writer’s block wall to become permanently cemented again, I’ll never be able to be a success.

The good thing about writing with modern technology, though, is the delete button. If ending A doesn’t work, all I have to do is hit the delete button and start on ending B. The alphabet can go on and on and on, to Z infinity!