Two Things

First, I’m not going to continue posting updates to my poetry project on my personal Twitter account. I don’t want to clutter up anyone’s timeline plus I’m not getting much in the way of hits so I’ll just post on my author Twitter. Not that hits are coming from there. It’s just the status quo. I can’t seem to get more than three or four people (if I’m lucky) to read my writing let alone any feedback. I’m not stopping my poetry project so if you’re one of the couple people who has actually been following along, you know to go to my author website for each day’s poetry. I thank you for taking the time. I know everyone’s busy. I’m also tired of people telling me their busy. I know this already. Never have I ever expected anyone to drop what they’re doing for me.

Second, if you can’t tell already, my mood has dropped again. I’m so tired of having a day or two where I’m a little up but only to drop. I’m exhausted from this. Is this how it’s always going to be? There’s no guarantee I’ll ever get better and it’s so heartbreaking to realize that. Too often I wonder what the point of therapy is. All I do is uncover more reasons why I am the way I am. When do I start the upswing? Will I ever have an upswing? Again, will I ever get better? I can’t live a normal life until I’m better and having to give up control of part of my life really hasn’t helped although it’s supposed to. If this is the way it’s supposed to be, that is just so disappointing. I’ve lived over half my life and have so little to show for it and nothing on the horizon. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemies. It sucks. It’s not even a matter of the rare pick me up or thoughtfulness of someone else. That just makes me feel guilty. Remember, everyone’s busy.

Dana