To the Scaredy Cat (literally) living in the apartment on the first floor:

I enjoy seeing you everyday lying in front of your patio door, longing to chase after the birds, squirrels, and rabbits. I have two cats myself and they are often in that same longing place, although on the third floor. However, I am starting to take offense with you.

When I begin to slowly back out of my garage, I am not gunning for you. The histrionics you go through when you see my backup lights are getting to be a bit much. You see, I am backing out at less than 5mph. I am a very, very careful backer-upper due to the confines of the parking lot. I have a big car and a small garage. Slow maneuvering is the only way to go (trust me on that one). Plus, I’m pretty sure the twenty feet of curb, sidewalk, grass, patio and patio furniture would provide plenty of barriers that would slow me from the less than 5mph to, well, 0mph. Also, I like living here and would hate for my lease not to be renewed because I backed my car into the first floor.

I truly am sorry if sometime in one of your past nine lives you had an incident with a vehicle. However, rest assured; I am not trying to take another one of your lives. Relax. The scared kitty face, flattening of your body to the ground, and finally quick-as-a-flash getaway is truly unnecessary.

Sincerely,
Dana on the 3rd floor
Mama to Joey the Basement Cat and Bootsie the Non-Basement Cat