When I Grow Up

I can’t exactly remember when I first began writing; it’s just something I’ve done/wanted to do for a very long time. Now I’m not saying I’ve always been productive as I’m coming off of a very long stretch (try a decade) of writer’s block. In college I took all the creative writing classes I could. I wanted to first be a screenwriter and that’s was my focus early on but then I wanted to delve more into the thoughts and feelings of characters and switched to fiction. Not sure if this is good, though, as I tend to wallow in diarrhea of the fingers and easily get off on tangents in what I’m writing. I have been known to write ten pages of fiction and the next day realize that nine of those pages are irrelevant or just too darn wordy and stagnate the plot.

I don’t just stick with fiction. My OCD dictates a healthy dose of haiku and I write essays (obviously). Have I ever been successful in my writing? I’ve had two of my poems (non haiku) published in my college’s literary magazine back in the day and very, very early on in my writing career (right after college) I actually had an agent interested in a very, very bad screenplay I wrote (and I’m honestly thankful that she couldn’t sell it because in retrospect I really hated the finished product). In college I wrote/produced/directed a one woman play. That was interesting to bring my words to life. I guess you could say that I’ve been move productive and successful with my poetry even though I don’t want to be a poet. Back in college my creative writing professor/advisor once wrote this on one of my poems – You may not make millions from a screenplay but you may make hundreds on your poetry. Still waiting on the hundreds but since I never submit my poetry, the adage “can’t win if you don’t play” comes to mind.

After the writer’s block I’m really just getting back on my writing feet. I tend to have two things going on at once with my writing – a plausible story and then something I just dork around on to “warm up” my writing fingers and mind. The practice writing is not for publication anywhere but I find it helps to get things going and also, if I’m working on a plot problem on the plausible writing, it helps my mind to work it out.

I like writing. It reminds me of reading a good book. On the bad days, which seem to happen a lot lately, I can lose myself in my writing and not worry about my problems for a few hours. I can create a hopeful character when I myself have no hope. Eventually, the hope that character has works its way up through my fingers and through me and I feel better. Words, no matter what genre of writing they are used in, are so powerful.