The problem is that my soul was badly damaged by someone who wants to come across as being kind but there was no kindness (nor honest logic) in her reasoning. She called a person with severe depression and no self-worth toxic. That was a huge hit to me and has made me feel even worse.
In the last two and a half weeks, I have seen this person do things that I was accused of doing. I hate double standards. It's not okay for you to be negative & black & white when you unfollowed me for those same reasons.
I've been through a lot in my life. Just in a span of five years I nearly died from a pulmonary embolism, had cancer, took care of my dying mother, had my depression grow deeper, I tried to kill myself and no longer have a connection to what little family I have left. Can you see how that might effect a person? Can you see how I might need the escape of Twitter? Twitter used to be a haven for me. Now, I worry about every single tweet for fear of losing another friend. I feel like I can no longer be myself.
But, I am toxic. I didn't love enough; I didn't fawn enough. These things get a person unfollowed. Gray times indeed.
To the person who unfollowed me, I hope your timeline is happier and filled with rainbows and unicorns now that you no longer have my toxic tweets infecting it. The world is not always filled with color and it would have been nice for you to understand that. I don't believe I was being as negative as you think I was but, well, whatever. You have made your life better by making mine worse, by hurting me. Brava! Quite the accomplishment. I hope you are happy now. I wish you well and I wish that you learn how to be humble. I do have one question that I know will never be answered - did you think how your actions would effect me?
Dana - a survivor
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