The Wall

The focus of my blog for the last couple of years has been my experience with major depression, anxiety, and OCD. I want people to learn and understand that just because a person has one of these issues, that does not make them any less of a human being. Sadly, there are many people who look down upon people like me. They do not take the time to completely understand where a person like me comes from. I can only hope that my blog entries will one day help at least one person understand someone like me.

I know how my depression originated and it’s something I can’t change. Also, I know what I need to do to better myself both physically and mentally. The frustrating thing is that there is this invisible wall around me that impedes me from making the right choices. I think that’s where people don’t understand depression. Too many just think a depressed person can flip a switch and everything will be alright. Sadly, it’s not that easy.

If I knew how to break down that wall around me, I know I could begin making better choices (like not having a DQ Blizzard for dinner) but until then, I don’t care. I want to care. I really, really want to care but that damn wall becomes thicker whenever I make an attempt.

So far, therapy and medications have not helped much at all but I haven’t given up yet. One day, hopefully soon, that damn wall will come down and I will care about myself.

Dana