Lack of Fire

I want to lose weight. I need to lose weight. I’m tired of the bulk plus I want to get off my diabetes/high blood pressure meds. I’ve signed up for Weight Watchers online and I have a freezer full of Lean Cuisines and healthy breakfasts. I know what I need to do. I have the tools to do so but I can’t just seem to take the next step.

What am I afraid of? Why am I finding this so hard to do? I just have no motivation. My self-awareness is high; I know I should be eating better but a part of me just doesn’t care. It’s hard to do something without motivation. I find writing easy because I’m motivated to be published. I find teaching easy because I’m motivated to earn my monthly paycheck.

But nothing seems to work for me when it comes to losing weight. Feeling better, cuter clothes, more self-esteem, none of these things seem to work for me. There has to be something out there that gives me the fire I need to take the next step. I just wish I knew what it was.

Fat Dana