When I Fall (part 2)

As I said in part 1, my mood is falling. This happens with my depression; I’m not down 24/7. That’s one misconception about depression. Some of us have moments of varying length where the mood is not so gray. But then those moments give way to the gray. And that’s where I’m heading.

There are questions to ponder. How long will this episode last? How far will I fall? Will this effect my work? Will this effect my writing? What can I do, if anything, to combat the gray? This last question is difficult because climbing out of the gray is so difficult by myself. This is when I wish I had somebody – boyfriend, hubby, closer friend, someone – who could help me.

Battling depression alone makes the battle so much harder. There’s no one to catch me when I fall or hold a hand out to me to help me up. I have my cats but there’s only so much they help with. Don’t get me wrong; they’re great and I’ve dropped many a tear onto Joey’s fur. But they can’t replace having a human someone who could guide me through the gray. You have no idea how much I want that but I can’t make people care. I understand some people aren’t comfortable dealing with depressed people. Dealing with a depressed person can be difficult. I get that but I can’t help but wishing for someone to be there for me.

So there’s part 2.

Dana